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Rainwater is the least of this spider’s worries—he has been nabbed by kids who intend to use him as a projectile for their ping pong paddles that double as a slingshot. He appears to be smiling, but that’s just because spiders are stupid. He has no idea about the horrors that await him.
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We all know there are women out there that are into some seriously freaky stuff. And sure, bats, gophers, dogs, mice, beavers and emus may be fine for your average zoophile, but the truly adventurous save all their lovin’ for spiders. Why? Because they risk having a hideous man-spider like the one exemplified here. Not only that, but it would also require a womb of steel. Those wussy bulls, goats and horses will still have four legs when you cross-breed them, but the spidy baby will have eight legs kicking at any time; and God help you if you have twins. It will serve as a constant warning of the possible consequences of spider sex and help keep your urges in check. It hangs from a 27″ chain and measures 17″ x 9″ x 6″.
Product Page ($35)
