stress

Power of the Dark Side pissing you off? Vent your rage on Darth Vader’s head by squeezing it into oblivion with this rubbery foam stressball. May also work to relieve the strain of passing a Death Star-sized BM.

Currently available for pre-order with an August, 2012 release.

Product Page: ($13)

If you are fortunate enough to have an extended break this Labor Day weekend, it will be a great opportunity to relax and recharge your batteries. The following products could help you do just that, but be warned that extreme relaxation can result in extreme laziness. One minute you are enjoying some aromatherapy and the next you are riding on a couch around town in your pajamas. It’s a slippery slope.

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If the stress of the office is getting the better of you, then it may be time to bust out some psychedelic light effects with this Laser sphere. The light show can be contained in the sphere, or you can remove the lid and let the colors fill the room, providing a hypnotizing effect that will help take your worries away.

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clucking chicken pop top simulator

Stress toys like this one fall in line with the Japanese “infinite toy” craze—trinkets that simulate a pleasurable experience over and over again. This can include bubble wrap, knuckle cracking and pop-top simulators. This particular pop-top simulator also features an inexplicable clucking chicken sound effect each time the can is “opened.”

Product Page ($4)

laughing-stress-ball

This ball is designed to relieve stress but it seems more likely to convert your stress into downright insanity. Just look a that crazy-ass thing. It laughs hysterically when you squeeze it too. It’s the kind of toy you worry about coming alive at night to cut your throat.

Product Page ($3)

stress-freud

Have you been feeling stressed out lately? Before you go on a rampage, give Sigmund Freud‘s disembodied head a few squeezes. The tension will just melt away.

Product Page ($5)

mood-dude-stress-ball

Looking at something as twisted as this makes you need to squeeze it. If it were a cute little animal it may have a chance, but trying to appeal to yet another goofy friend is just one more step on your way to adulthood. I guess once you admit your friends are losers your mental health has taken a turn for the better. Squeeze balls can be indicators of future performance.

Product Page ($2.99)

Fried Egg Stress Toy

If you see someone in your workplace frantically squeezing a stress toy shaped like a fried egg – keep an eye on him. That’s the dude that might snap and go postal.

Product Page ( $1.99 )

Monkey Groan Ball

Squeezing this Monkey Groan Ball supposedly reduces stress, but doing so sets off sounds that have been described as “the groans of a monkey that has been inhaling helium.” Doesn’t sound all that relaxing to me.

Product Page ( $4.95 – set of 2 )