Posts tagged as:

table

Joongho Choi’s concept table “Pixable” is supposed to be an artistic representation of pixels, which are described by the artist as “expanding the boundary of the art format since it replaces paper”. However my first thought, besides the fact that it looks like a bunch of cannibalized Rubik’s Cubes, it that it would have been the perfect piece of background furniture for Peter Gabriel’s “Big Time” video. It also reminds me of “Marble Madness”. Probably not the futuristic edge Joongho was looking for… Unless this thing was designed in 1975.

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alumina led table

This hardwood and glass Alumina table doesn’t need lamps or candles to set a mood, it features built in LEDs that can be set to stay on a specific color or transition through a range of colors. These lights shine through a pane of  Opticlear glass that has been etched with a bamboo pattern. Measures H 44.5 x W 56.5 x D 86.5 cm.

Product Page (£2195 or $3588)

sand-trap-tableThis table is meant for every golfer who spends so much time the sand traps that having a sand trap built into a table at their home only makes sense. The tabletop has a nice carving of a green on the one side and the real sand filled bunker on the other. It can double as an ashtray if you find stubbing out lit cigarettes in it is the only way to feel better about yourself.

Product Page ($129.95)

bad-table

Bound to bring an aura of sophistication and rebellion to any room is this “bad table”, which aside from the beautiful sloping woodwork, comes complete with it’s own super strong stream of piss.  Now I’m sure many of you would be willing to fork over the $2,920 just to have a table answering nature’s call in your living room, but don’t be surprised when it sets the example for kids and pets. You may end up being accused of  favoritism since the table is allowed to freely piss in the rug without retribution while Rover still can’t free a hostage on the linoleum. Just sayin…

Product Page: ($2,920)

r2-d2-table

The success of the Star Wars films made R2-D2 rich and famous, but with great wealth comes great temptation—and R2 indulged every chance he got. He muddled through the last three films, usually high on crack. When the money dried up he supported his addiction by selling himself on the streets. Broke and busted, he has been reduced to working as a side table in your living room. Hollywood claims yet another victim. Tragic. Additional images are available after the break.

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continental-radial-engine-coffee-table

I’m sure this is what the manufacturer of Continental radial engines had in mind when they designed and built these in the 30’s. Rather than powering an antique aircraft, this  “pristinely restored ” engine is now available as a limited edition coffee table and conversation piece for your home, office or hangar with a nicely polished splined propeller shaft as your centerpiece. A limited edition stripped down Jacobs radial engine is also available with exposed pistons and crankshaft. A photo is available after the break.

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Some sharks will take your leg off in a flash. We don’t mess with those. We prefer sharks like this guy who will gladly hold your beverage for as long as you deem it necessary. And what is the difference between those two types of sharks? Apparently it is a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of sunglasses. Not that I am profiling sharks, of course.

Product Page ($329.95)

mermaid-end-table.jpg

We have seen dragon end tables and skeleton end tables, but nothing quite compares to this mermaid end table and its special blend of weirdness and confusing sexuality. Is it wrong to be attracted to an inanimate mythical creature? Yes, yes it is. We already learned that the hard way (NSFW link).

Product Page ($150)

ancestor-table.jpg

This “Ancestor” Skull Table gives us a glimpse into what Hell must be like. Condemned to a life of servitude where you must hold up Satan’s beer and remotes for an eternity.

Product Page (£146.86 or $288)

drum-table.jpg

Oddly enough, this 40-inch rosewood table “is not designed to be played” but it “is fully functional as a drum.” I’ll tell you one thing right now, if I have a big ass drum as a table, I’m gonna play it all damn day Matthew McConaughey style—high and butt naked. Also available in a 30-inch, accent table, and coffee table versions.

Product Page ($530) 30-inch ($370) Accent ($350) Coffee Table ($530)