the lord of the rings

HP lois malfroy

Do you ever find yourself thinking that those big-budget geeky  movies you like just make too much sense? Yeah, OK, we get flying cars and giant battles and spaceships and all that. But where are the odd religion references? The out-of-left-field sexual innuendos? The David Lynchian surrealness?

Thank you, bootleg movie subtitles. Even when the words you’re trying to translate are literally on the screen, you still provide us with the utmost in mistranslated hilarity. Now that’s dedication.

Let’s start with the most infamous movie mistranslation, the one that inexplicably substituted the Jedi Council for the Presbyterian Church and gifted the world with at eternal piece of internet vernacular. Iiiiiit’s…

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LOTR mythology

When it comes to trying to understand all of the different people, races, and creatures within The Lord Of The Rings trilogy, it’s easy to get a little confused. There is, after all, a lot going on.

Thankfully YouTuber CGP Grey is here to break it down for you in under 5 minutes.

Head after the break to watch the video.

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fly you fool

Proving yet again that he’s one of the most awesome person in the history of ever, Sir Ian McKellen posted this image with a simple “Fly, you fool!” caption.

I only wish it had lifted off and carried him away in the next picture, but that’s what imaginations are for.

Well played, Sir Ian.

You can check out the Instagram post after the break.

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tolkien

Here’s some cool news for J.R.R. Tolkien fans. A recording of Tolkien from a “Hobbit Dinner” he attended in the Netherlands in 1958 has just resurfaced.

Jay Johnstone, co-founder of Legendarium at mymiddleearth.com, discovered the tape’s existence and that it was in the possession of Tolkien fan René van Rossenberg, who owns a Lord of the Rings shop. I don’t doubt there were riddles told and the words “my precious” were used because von Rossberg is allowing the tape to be remastered and we’ll all get to hear it later this year.

The tape contains a recording of Tolkien explaining the meaning of The Lord Of The Rings, reciting a poem in Elvish, and more. Thankfully a preview is avaialble in the video after the break…

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warg

(via Imgur)

life sized gollum

Gollum would like to greet all the guests that enter your home and show them his fish. That is not a euphemism.

Weta is offering a life size statue of the iconic character, and he would definitely add a certain vibe to any location. The statue is 55″ tall and since he is not cheap, you should have a perfect place to showcase him. He’s cast in fiberglass, and they only have a “strictly” limited number of pieces available. So limited you have to email Weta to make sure it’s available before placing your order. Hopefully you have a precious you can melt down to pay for this lifelike creature.

Check out another shot after the break.

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gandalf_the_black_by_benco42-d6rawbm

If you didn’t read the Lord of the Rings before seeing The Fellowship of the Ring, you may have been confused by Gandalf refusing to take the One Ring and relieve Frodo of his burden. It seems like a wise person with good intent should be able to control the power, but as you soon learn, that’s the trick. DeviantArt user Benjamin Collison imagined what Gandalf would look like if he succumbed to temptation and wore the ring. Behold, Gandalf the Black. He looks like a wizard you really, really wouldn’t want to make angry.

(Ian Brooks via io9)

Doctor Who – 50th Anniversary Special - The Day of the Doctor

Gandalf stopped the Balrog of Moria, surely he can stop some pedestrians on a bridge in Central Park. At least, you’d think so. In this video, a man dressed as Gandalf shouts “you shall not pass” and tries his best to get people to stop. Most people laugh, take a picture, and move on. One passerby even yells a spell from Harry Potter at him. Poor Gandalf.

See what happens in the funny video after the break.

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onering

(via Jeremy Kaye)

gimli's axe

How would you like to wield Gimli’s axe? Not one of the Lord of the Rings prop replicas but an actual bearded axe. It’s a gorgeous piece of weaponry, and Tony Swatton tackles the project in the latest episode of Man at Arms.

Check out the video after the break.

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