For some reason that can only be explained by heavy drinking and drug use combined with the nerdly thrill of attending a Comic-Con convention, Spy Monkey Creations has teamed up with AFI to create a purchasable toast shield action figure accessory.
toast
Although the sight of an inflatable will most likely give way to fond memories of beach vacations and sexual relief, few realize that they can also serve a myriad of other purposes. They can point out nerds, exploit a tragedy, waist natural resources and terrorize your town in the form of a giant rolling turd. Next time you throw a party or go to a sporting event, dispense with the traditional beach ball and consider employing one of these 10 baffling inflatables instead.
Someone deprived this toast of a trip through your digestive system, and now he’s undesirable, moldy and bitter. So to even the score he’s taking revenge on all of your grain products.
Product Page: ($13)
That’s right folks, you can buy a piece of shellacked laser-etched toast with Elvis’ image on it for $5. I know you are wondering why you should be wasting money on Elvis toast in a bad economy, but consider this: middle-aged ladies would pay at least $5 apiece to see this thing. Just set it up behind ropes on an altar with a velvet painting on the wall. People will come from miles around proclaiming that a miracle has happened.
Product Page ($5)
Nothing starts off your morning better than slipping a piece of bread into an evil looking, black toaster. Each piece of toast that finishes will add one more Darth Vader Helmet to the world. Stare it down and then eat it as a part of your nutritious breakfast. Defeating the Dark Lord before you even leave the house every morning makes the rest of your day seem simple by comparison.
Product Page ($54.99)
Is there anything toast can’t do? You can eat it, use it to tell time, offer salvation, rest your head, or even heal your wounds.
Product Page ($4.95)
Our fascination with toast continues with this brand spankin’ new Toast clock. With any luck, a toast watch is not far off (mobile toast time).
Product Page ($21.99—available starting in April 2008.)
What do you do when you are craving toast, but toast is nowhere to be found? If you tote around this inflatable version, you can insure that toast will be available anytime, anywhere. Warning: not for eating or having sex with. Proper uses include: worship, squeezing, and as a makeshift pillow. Measures 6″ tall.
Product Page ($6.50 for a set of 2)
