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Valentines Tip #1: Enhance the romance with a luxurious bubble bath together. Magic will be in the air as you and your lover feed each other pizza and bathe in IL gusto pizza-scented bubble bath. Also available in coffee, cappuccino, chocolate, chewing gum and Tuscan bread scents.
Product Page (Pricing Available Upon Request)
Valentine’s Day means expressing your feelings, getting in touch with that sensitive little guy that’s buried deep down inside. You know—that voice inside your head that asks “I wonder what’s on Oxygen right now?” Hmmm, maybe it’s not a good idea to let him out. Women don’t want a wuss. I mean, do the guys in this magnet set look like they will be scoring on February 14th?
Product Page ($11)
Just a tip guys, if you want to get some on Valentine’s Day, it’s probably best to stick with the traditional teddy bear. Valentine sperm lacks subtlety and reeks of desperation.
Product Page ($25)
For the ladies, you know who is in charge when it comes to the relationship. So why not give the man one day to think that he actually is the boss. This solid pewter paperweight showing a woman worshiping, supposedly at the feet of her man, is something he can take to the office and make himself feel better all year round. The included note, ‘I worship the ground you walk on’, will complete the farce.
Product Page ($55)
Remember that Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. If you are having a difficult time trying to find that perfect gift then maybe something as simple as this Valentine’s Day Toilet Paper Card could keep you out of the dog house. Not likely, and even less so if they ever found out what you paid for it.
Product Page ($14)
Ring once if you are ready now, twice if you are in a hurry, and three times if you are desperate. You may get away with this on Valentine’s day guys, but any other day and this Ring for Sex bell could easily find itself crammed up your ass.
Product Page (£3.99 or $8)
Valentine’s Day is only a few weeks away, so I am here to give the guys out there a word of advice—the beer mug of blooms is probably not the bouquet she was hoping for. On the other hand, if you were ever to get flowers for a guy, this may be the way to do it.
Product Page ($29.99)
According to the product page, the “Love Button” aka “The Big O” should be pressed when the “real thing is temporarily out of reach” and you are in need of some “instant relief.” Since the device will not result in an actual orgasm, I can only assume that “instant relief” is referring to those times when your guy is on top of you and you just want him to wrap it up. “Hey, I had an orgasm honey, nice work…..(meh).”
Product Page ($12)
Valentine’s Day is coming up. If you are looking for ideas on what to get her I am offering up one more possibility here. Would you pass up any gift that included both “Carmen Electra” and “stripper pole” in it’s name?
Maybe your lady would not appreciate getting a stripper pole for Valentine’s day. I am not here to tell you it is a good idea, merely pointing out possibilities.
Product Page ($129.99)
