Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, is back in with a work that will shatter your perceptions of our 16th President.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter tells the true story about Honest Abe. By day, he was uniting our country against the scourge of racial hatred. By night, he bathed in the blood of his vampire victims. I’m sure a movie is on it’s way—until then, you can get a taste of what it might be like thanks to this promotional trailer for the book (available starting March 2nd).
Thanks to Bram Stoker, Béla Lugosi and Robert Pattinson, vampires are as much a part of pop culture as reality TV, Facebook and wasting time. That’s why we’re offering 10 products that can help you navigate through the barrage of choices and make the most of your vampire experience. Whether you’re looking to gross someone out, role play like you’re having sex in a morgue, or if you simply want to snuggle up with a Robert Pattinson plush that has the neck of a Diplodocus, we’ve got you covered.
If you want to track down some geriatric vampires, break out your “Cold Blooded” ice trays. Simply walk around with these icy toofers in your beverage and wait for people to ask where you were able to find “Fang Efferdent”… Bingo. Additional ice weirdness is pictured after the break.
It is a battle for supremacy in the underworld when the vampires take on the mummies in a checkers death match. I would have to give the edge to the mummies, I am not sure the threat of someone sucking its blood puts much fear into a mummy.
The “Personal Hammer and Stake” is a bizarre wooden creation from the folks at WoodMarvels. Made up of several thin layers of plywood and personalized for the user, this hammer and stake set can be mounted close by in case of a vampire emergency.
Product Page ($45 ready-made or $2 for the blueprint)
If you want to pit two groups of people in a chess battle, there are none so vicious as vampires and werewolves. Both are feared by humans and both have a strong dislike for each other. The whole theme is like a game of the “Underworld” movies, although sadly I don’t see Kate Beckinsale anywhere.
Next time a vampire shows up to suck your blood, be prepared with this Roman Catholic approved Vampire Hunters Kit. You’ll sleep easier knowing that you have some holy water and some unblessed Eucharist wafers nearby in case you need to take that bastard down in the middle of the night. However, you novice vampire hunters may find yourselves S.O.L. if you can’t read the Romanian killing instructions.
These vampire teeth are useful for holding place cards and are not the type of things most people should steal. They can take their chances trying to hide a set of fangs on them if they choose, but I know I would never take a chance like that. Maybe that is just what the fangs want you to do so they can get you alone.
Talking to dead people would be a lot easier if you are working with someone who has experience talking to them. And I have to think that Buffy the Vampire Slayer has more experience than your average medium. A Ouija board is actually a step removed from her average encounter. Plus, if any trouble starts with the summoned spirit you know she has your back. It doesn’t hurt that she is pretty easy on the eyes.
Finding a nice blow up for your Alien Dracula needs can be tough. Here is a nice 40″ model that you can have at a very reasonable cost. Nothing tells your guests that they have chosen to attend the correct party like an Alien Dracula.
If you want to track down some geriatric vampires, break out your “Cold Blooded” 
