ThinkGeek Is Back At It Again With April Fools’ Semi-Joke Products

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The only thing I truly enjoy about April Fools’ Day is seeing what crazy products ThinkGeek came up with (and watching the Internet fall for these phony products year after year). However, it’s important to keep in mind that these toys are only made partially in jest—so they’re worth examining.

Over the last few years ThinkGeek has turned the most popular/feasible April Fools’ Day products into a reality. Take a look at the best of this year’s crop below—and place your bets about which toys we’ll be able to buy for real in the months to come.

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Star Trek White Noise Sleep Machine

The Star Trek White Noise Sleep Machine provides the low thrum of a familiar spacecraft exploring some corner of an as-yet-unknown galaxy to gently lull you to sleep. Use the easy-to-navigate LCARS touch screen display to select a ship or station, whose schematic will pop up in the next window. Rest your head on your pillow and watch the stars race by, projected onto the ceiling. Bask in the light of the glass “warp” tower as you relax to the familiar sounds of the warp core… or whichever sound you choose. You’ll soon discover one craft in particular provides your optimal nighttime environment for maximum relaxation. And there will be no more hitting the snooze bar in the morning with our Red Alert alarm. You’ll wake up refreshed, ready to attack the day. Because today is a good day to — well, do anything, really!

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Magic: The Gathering – Travel Edition

Considering it has the word “Gathering” in its title, you’d think Magic would be more of a travel game. Not that it’s difficult to carry around, but it is challenging to play in an impromptu location. You’ve got your deck with you. Your friends have their decks with them. Now all you need is 2 feet of lateral space on a flat surface each, and you’ll be good to go. It doesn’t sound like much, but it is. Those of you who end up at tournaments playing with mats overlapping your neighbors’ know what we’re talking about. And your tray table on the airplane just isn’t going to cut it. So if you can’t get more space, what’s your other option?

Smaller cards. That’s why ThinkGeek and Wizards of the Coast have come together to released a new Magic: The Gathering – Travel Edition just in time for the summer travel season. With 120 mini cards, MtG-TE has all the fun of your standard Magic deck, now in super-concentrated form. The carrying case itself turns into a Battle Board with an integrated playmat and life counters for a head-to-head duel. And don’t fret that you might not be able to read the abilities / flavor text on your mini cards. MtG-TE comes with 2 pairs of Battle Magnifier goggles, also handy for reading the small print on those commercials for prescription drugs where the side effects are nausea, vomiting, and spontaneous combustion. If you enjoy MtG-TE, we encourage you to pick up a expansion pack and build your own travel deck that’s a force to be reckoned with.

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VR Sensory Immersion Generator

Our new Oculus Rift headsets are treating our eyes and ears to new worlds this week. We’re experiencing some of our favorite games in new immersive ways. But after a few hours of playing, we realized some of our other senses were feeling left out. Touch, for instance. And smell. And even taste.

Take your virtual reality gaming experience to the next level with the VR Sensory Immersion Generator. It provides multisensory accompaniment to your VR head-mounted display for a fully-immersive experience. Put your HMD on and hand the Sensory Immersion Generator to a friend. It comes with headphones that cue your friend when you’re about to encounter a new experience that can be enhanced by the Sensory Immersion Generator. They pull the trigger, and suddenly your senses of touch, smell, and taste are integrated into the game. It’s virtual reality, enhanced.

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Vertical Landing Mentos & Diet Coke Rocket

We’ve all created our own rockets with Mentos and bottles of Diet Coke, right? Now we’ve taken your backyard science to the next level with our Vertical Landing Mentos & Diet Coke Rocket.

The first bit is the part you’re familiar with. After you’ve set up the four-bottle rocket configuration, the Mentos combine with the Diet Coke in the main 2 liter bottle, providing the “first-stage engine thrust.” The chemical reaction of the CO2 being forced out of the solution when the nucleation on the candy’s surface starts is what provides your liftoff, as per usual. Foam. Force. And a jet of soda, which sends your rocket 20-30 feet in the air.

Here’s the new part. The aquarium tubing, which provides a link from the main 2 liter bottle to the three smaller side bottles, then provides some stability in this all-pneumatic system, releasing its own sodas’ CO2 in turn. Those side bottles help to balance your now falling rocket enough for safe reentry and landing. Protip: Make sure you have the same amount of soda in each side bottle to ensure your vertical landing’s success. Send us Action Shots of your Vertical Landing Mentos & Diet Coke Rocket on the landing pad to show us your skills!

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baRPG

How many of your roleplaying adventures start out in a bar? This one promises not only to start out there but also to end there. Meet the drinking game for roleplayers – baRPG.

What makes baRPG special? Your character is represented by one of four pint glasses, each filled with your beverage of choice to the 100 hitpoint level to start. More liquid = more HP. As players venture into the dungeon, flipping over hex cards and fighting monsters, you may lose hit points and be forced to drink accordingly. baRPG has the mechanics of a dungeon crawl but none of the higher math that’s sometimes involved in tabletop sessions (which becomes significantly more tricky with alcohol). The end goal is to secure the elusive Treasure hex card and force the rest of your adventuring party to chug. But it’s not as easy as it may at first appear….

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Attack on Titan Colossal Titan Lawn Ornament

As a homeowner, there are a lot of problems constantly looming over you. Repairs cluttering up your weekend. Mortgage debt weighing down your bank account. A Titan messing up your roof tiles.

“THERE’S A TITAN ON YOUR LAWN!” That’s what your cool neighbors will scream when you install our latest creation, the Attack on Titan Colossal Titan Lawn Ornament. The integrated air pump will have your 25 foot tall Titan up and peeking over your wall within minutes. His durable tear-resistant polyester body comes with tethers and ground stakes to ensure he doesn’t wreak any unintended havoc. And if your homeowners’ association has problems with it, perhaps you should just leave a passive-aggressive still from the anime under their doormats.

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Useless Light Switch

There are a lot of reasons for turning the lights off. Maybe you’re trying to reduce energy usage to save money. Or the planet. Maybe you’re flipping the switch so you can see the presentation. Or because you’re ready to go to sleep. On occasion, both of these simultaneously.

Whatever reason you’re ready to turn off the lights, the Useless Light Switch is here to help. You flip the lights on. And a lever comes out of the top screw hole in the switch plate to turn the lights back off. That’s all it does, but we promise every time new people encounter it, the confused look on their faces will bring a smile to yours.

And nobody will ever leave the lights on again.

While we wait for baRPG and The Star Trek White Noise Sleep Machine (my two picks) you might want to check out some real products that are up for grabs in ThinkGeek’s bestseller sale before it ends on April 4th.

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