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It’s the 21st century and Simon has stripped his bulky exterior for a far more portable version. Don’t let his diminutive frame fool you though, this keychain Simon light up game will kick your ass just like the original. What’s worse, time and alcohol abuse have dulled your senses.
Product Page ($17)
Winter is coming, and unless you want to suck on a beer pop this Holiday season, you may want to wrap your beloved brew up in some Santa duds so it stays at a reasonable temperature (and so your hand doesn’t freeze to the bottle). Then you can rename Santa “Pabst Claus” or “Bud Claus”. It’ll be Christmas with an Alabama twist.
Product Page: ($8)
The recipient will love the two bottles of wine you give them but will love the Santa Pants wine bag even more. They may actually pause for two seconds to admire it before tossing it aside to get at the alcohol.
Product Page ($9.99)
It doesn’t take a chemist to tell you that drinking alcohol out of a beaker that’s nearly 3-feet tall will most likely result in drunkenness. Nevertheless, you can test your mettle against the glass and emerge as a “Wimp”, “Lightweight”, “Pretender”, “Contender”, “Loaded Bloke” or, the ultimate “Loaded Legend”.
Product Page (£20 or $34)
If you saw our post on the Blood Energy Drink, you probably wondered what it tasted like. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t taste like blood—unless you bit the neck of a dude embalmed with Capri Sun. That’s right, it’s fruit punch flavor. However, I did notice that the consistency was more syrupy than a traditional fruit punch drink, a little thinner than actual blood, but the effect is there.
These Mini Martini Salt and Pepper Shakers have the ability to create quite the controversy. Is salt pouring out of the shaker the best use for a shaker or is the lack of a martini coming out an absolute disgrace? It really depends on whether you are a sodium addict or alcoholic.
Product Page ($19.99)
Your bedside table may already have a number of pills on it that you use to try to get yourself to sleep every night, but this Capsule Carafe can be used to put yourself to sleep better than any other pill you have. Fill it up with your favorite alcoholic beverage, down it as quickly as you can and sleep will be sure to follow. It may be hell to wake up, nothing is perfect.
Product Page ($48)
Ahh, the one night stand. Alcohol made her look like the centerfold in last month’s issue of Playboy, but the next morning reality stepped in to let you know her face is more like a ham hock. Avoid those awkward moments with this pillow case that subtly tells your conquest to get the hell out before you find out the bad news.
Product Page: ($15.95)
Throw your line in, catch a fish and do what the fish instructs you, the game play of this Fishing Drinking Game couldn’t be simpler. It may be to try again, it may be to drink by yourself or with a friend, whatever it is you know that there will be some alcohol flowing.
Product Page (AU$29.95, about US $25.04)
