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Sorry, I don’t think little strips of toilet paper will stop the bleeding on a severed jugular. But I’ll be dammed if shaving with a butterfly knife straight razor isn’t masculine. In fact, the only way you could get more rugged is with a chainsaw, or maybe burning off that beard with a flamethrower. But I digress.
Fortunately for everyone, this is only a concept.
About the same size as a bear cub, this body pillow will keep you cozy without having to worry about mama bear coming to claw your face off for molesting her child.
Product Page ($80)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of October 12th-18th, 2009:
Weekend Contest: Win one of four toilet coffee mugs.
Cable Monkey: Loves your cords.
Screaming Condom USB Flash Drive: Has no additional protection.
Polar Bear Toss Catch Game: Let’s toss the old polar bear head around.
Simpsons Water Dispenser: Features a 3-eyed fish flavor.
A game of “catch the polar bear head” with your father is one of those childhood moments you will always cherish. And, to make things easier, the head sticks to the paw gloves when you catch it.
Product Page ($5)
These plastic sausage link magnets will work their magic by displaying your fridge-worthy items as either a wiener chain or individual links. However, bear in mind that if you own a dog, you may be inadvertently targeting all of your fridgeables for destruction.
Product Page: ($15)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of September 14th-20th, 2009:
USB Laptop Table With Bear-Shaped Mouse Platform: The product page fails to mention why it looks like a bear.
Benedictaphone: Your voice recordings from the Pope’s mouth.
Puzzle Pups: Kind of disturbing.
Dancing Robot: Has a strange backup crew.
Boob Luge: Lactates ice cold liquor. (NSFW)
Okay, I get the foldable table with a USB-powered laptop cooling fan—but what’s with the mouse platform? The product page fails to mention why it looks like a bear.
Product Page ($30)
I don’t care whether this shades wearing, gut hanging out bear money bank is pulling a bank heist or preventing one—either way the bear has a weapon and is prepared to use it in the name of my money’s safety. That is more effort than even I am willing to exert.
Product Page (£4.99, about $8)
Yeah, they look disgusting enough, but I bet Bear Grylls would’ve loved to have had a cracker on hand to help dilute the flavor of bear crap and deer eyes.
Product Page: ($15.99 currently out of stock)
While everyone knows that there are a ton of endangered species, there does not seem to be a lot done about it. These Endangered Species Erasers will remind you in two ways: one, they are excellent reproductions with a lot of detail that show you just how cool these guys are; and two, a percentage of the Endangered Species Erasers sales will be donated to helping endangered animals through the Center of Biological Diversity. And yes, they do actually work as erasers if you want to mimic human’s ravaging of their species. Check out the rhino and polar bear after the break.
