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This White Collar Office Guy will sit on your desk and hold your pen in one hand while he keeps all your business cards organized in his oversized briefcase. See how long you can stand him being around, between always being to work early and wearing a tie he may make you look bad in comparison.
Product Page ($3.44)
What better way to inform someone you are going to sue them than to let this remote control lawyer do the job. You can program in whatever phrase you like in addition to the stock phrases he comes with and play them at a push of a button on the briefcase remote control. He comes complete with a spiked collar and a crushed victim just to let people know who they are messing with. When you are out for blood you don’t want some pansy little lawyer.
Product Page ($34.95)
Pop open your miniature briefcase’s working latches and check out the Top Secret file in there. The Top Secret folder contains one piece of bubble gum with a top secret mission printed on it. If you want a fun little toy to hand out to co-workers or business acquaintances, this should get a chuckle out of them.
If you are out there trying to sell stuff, any little thing can give you an edge. You know the customer will remember you after you whip out your mini briefcase to give them a business card. While you are at it you can use the calculator to show them just how much money you can save them.
You can remove the calculator if you want, then you can fill it up with any type of contraband you choose. No matter what you are carrying, a miniature briefcase is the coolest way to do it.
Product Page ($6.44)
Are people really telling you the truth? Find out with this Portable Voice Stress Analyzer. According to the product website, the device measures micro tremors in the voice to determine whether or not the subject in question is lying. An easy to read LED layout makes determining innocence or guilt quick and easy. Plus, it is small enough to put in a bag or briefcase, so you can falsely accuse and alienate your friends anytime, anywhere.
Product Page (£29.95 or $58.40)
A bag that looks like a pair of tighty whities – and it’s dirt cheap. Get them while they are hot ladies!
Product Page ( $5 )
For some reason, wine holders bring out the creativity in product designers. We know this is an attorney because he has an ESQ briefcase - I guess. Chatting on his cellphone and wearing a tie, he looks like the consummate professional. The head stuck on the neck of the bottle is a beautiful touch to finish it off. I know I would choose my attorney by the cool way he stores his liquor.
Product Page ($80)
Here are the top Nerd Approved gadgets for the week of June 4th – June 10th 2007.
Top Ten Nerd Approved Gadgets:
Seesaw Couch: You don’t have to be a kid to enjoy this fun piece of furniture.
Pop Up Book of Phobias: Confront your deepest fears with this awesome coffee table book.
Tour: A Bike Table: A unique table for the cycling enthusiast.
Corporate Whore Briefcase: A briefcase for the office whore.
Lost in Space B9 Robot Replica: A little too rich for my blood.
The last 5 gadgets are available after the break…
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If you find yourself sitting behind a computer all day dutifully attending to your job, kissing the boss’ ass, and using annoying “office speak” like “touch base, ” “face-time,” and “synergy” – I regret to inform you that you are a corporate whore. And now we have the perfect briefcase for you.
Each briefcase measures 13.75 inches x 9.5 inches x 3.5 inches and has “Corporate Whore” printed on the sides in huge blocky letters that are only visible when viewed at certain angles. Pen and business card compartments inside, with ample room for shredded documents.
Seriously though, corporate whore or not – if you use “office speak,” cut that shit out. It’s the most annoying thing ever.
Product Page ( $29.99 )
This is probably some sort of wacky concept product (or a joke), but it is too hysterical to ignore. According to American Inventor Spot, the “Gotta Go Briefcase” was developed by a Japanese company looking to give corporate go-getters the edge in productivity.
Apparently the device can hold around 80 Kilos or 175 lbs of ass candy – which is as impractical as it is disgusting.
“So how did you get that hernia?” the Doctor asked.
“Hauling around my own shit.” the patient replied.
And let’s not forget how much of a bitch cleanup would be.
