The food hogs at your dinner table will need to learn how to duel when you come to the table with these flintlock handled utensils. They will have to decide whether that extra piece of steak is worth a possible bullet wound.
Product Page ($95)
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Your kids may use these door hangers to threaten you with lost hands or a dinosaur ass kicking if you decide to enter their room, but once you realize that T-Rex has been extinct for 65 million years, you’ll know that any violence that lies behind that door will be coming from your own disobedient little monster. I don’t know which would be more frightening.
Product Page: ($35.95)
Makes you wonder what archaeologists will think 1,000 years from now when they dig up our ancient civilization and discover tabloid magazines, porn and ceramic finger forks. It’s a good thing we won’t be around to feel that embarrassment.
Product Page: ($15)
In order to prove that silverware can do more than stab, scoop and cut food, the utensil trio of forks, spoons and knives are on a quest to expand their resume and legendary status by taking on other jobs around the kitchen. First up: wall hooks. Sounds like a long shot, but I’d still give this better odds than Paris Hilton or Ashlee Simpson becoming legitimate “singers”.
Product Page: ($10 each)
Birthday coming up? Light Bites offer a fork/candle holder combo which allows instant cake access without having to search for silverware, saving you those precious seconds between when the blowing ends and the eating begins (there’s my innuendo for the day). However, there’s still the obligatory waiting period while the candles burn and people sing and take pictures, which will no doubt result in you having to eat waxy cake with a hot, waxy utensil… Delish!
Product Page: (£8, or about $13.50)
Bound to bring an aura of sophistication and rebellion to any room is this “bad table”, which aside from the beautiful sloping woodwork, comes complete with it’s own super strong stream of piss. Now I’m sure many of you would be willing to fork over the $2,920 just to have a table answering nature’s call in your living room, but don’t be surprised when it sets the example for kids and pets. You may end up being accused of favoritism since the table is allowed to freely piss in the rug without retribution while Rover still can’t free a hostage on the linoleum. Just sayin…
Product Page: ($2,920)
Using small versions of heavy equipment as utensils is all well and good, but the whole experience is a lot more fun if you have a plate specially made for them. Use the bulldozer to push some peas up the ramp and onto the spoon front end loader or maybe use the forklift to pick up some pieces of meat. Make diesel engine noises as you use the utensils if you must.
Product Page ($14.99)
After a full day of fishing and coming home empty, you’ll need some gadget to grill those hot dogs. This Fishing Rod Wiener Fork will give you the same feel as your typical fishing rod as you roast your dogs without the reel full of tangled line. The rod extends 14″ to 35″ to keep you far away from the fire.
Product Page ($8.69)
There is really no sense in buying a whole bunch of gadgets for your outdoor activities when one will do. With this one tool you get a spatula, fork, bottle opener, corkscrew, tongs (extendable), serrated cutting edge and a slot for a disposable lighter. If I get stranded on a deserted island this tool would be my one wish, assuming Brazilian supermodels are not available for choosing.
Product Page (£9.49, about $14)
Wow, 2008 has been one hell of a year. It was the year we elected our first African American President. The year Michael Phelps won 8 Olympic golds. The year the economy faced near collapse. And, of course, it was the year we discovered a poop frisbee and a Sith Lord Toaster. But, as you will see from the list after the break, that’s not all the crazy crap we found.
