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As if you needed another sign that society is headed in the wrong direction, take the stupid products people spend their money on. Every year they get stupider and stupider, but we are right there to spend our hard earned dollar. Why? Because poop never stops being funny and it’s hard to resist a “limited edition.” So, without further ado, here is Part I of the epic master list of the stupidest products of 2009.
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of June 8th-14th 2009:
Chair Socks: The 1970’s flatter your furniture.
Magic Fingers: Protects your car door.
Orange Mutant Boy: Reads on toilet, nods approvingly.
Trout Cowboys:Dr. Strangelove gets even stranger.
Colorblock Note Cube: Bears a funny resemblance to a device invented by Mr. Rubik.
Traditional kite flying can be fun for short periods of time, but it gets old pretty quickly. This Skateboarder Kite will certainly liven things up. Not only do you get your very own rebellious teenager on a skateboard to do tricks with, but you know all those bikini clad women at the beach will be curious enough when they see it to come over and talk to you. At least that is your hope.
Product Page (£17.31, about $27.50)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of May 25th-31st, 2009:
Moose Clipboard: Includes Moose pen!
Gloomy Face Shape Mobile Phone Stand: Cellphones bleed?
Tetris Pots: Plant & play.
The Party Pump: Dispenses your wine like condiments.
Outhouse and Toilet Paper String Lights: Festively farty.
In the future, the Tony Hawks of the world will be replaced by robot skateboarders that can perform tricks once thought physically impossible. This X-Skate can hit jumps and move forward, backward left and right under infrared control. Not exactly impossible, but you have to start somewhere.
Product Page (£20 or $32)
I don’t even know what a “360 Ghetto Blaster” trick would entail—but I do know that you couldn’t pull it off with any other board.
Product Page ($60)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of April 27th-May 3rd, 2009:
Deckstool: Where skateboards go to die.
Big-Foot Suction Mount: This Bigfoot really sucks.
Ron Jeremy Wrapping Paper: Shows them how much you care.
Science Museum Rocket Coin Bank: Has more uses than a Shamwow.
Boob and Poop Stress Rockets: I’m not even kidding.
Save a broken skateboard from the landfill with a deckstool made from reclaimed skateboard decks. Although their new configuration means they can no longer serve as an instrument to transport, do tricks or impress girls, it can still serve quadruple duty as an end table, ass support, accent piece and a way make Tony Hawk cry.
Product Page: ($149.99)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of April 13th-19th, 2009:
Disk Brake Coasters: For mechanics who like to keep a tidy house.
T-Shirt Radio: Falls a bit short.
Final Fantasy Buster Sword Keychain: Won’t help in a street fight.
The Bacon Skateboard: Allows you to pull off a frontside porkslide.
Mr. Bump Alarm Clock: Responds to physical abuse.
Skateboarding tricks never looked or sounded more delicious than they do when the rider is thrashing on a bacon skateboard. Additional designs are available after the break.
