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As promised, here is the sequel to yesterday’s installment of Nerd Approved’s Stupidest Products of 2009. This section concludes the series with categories like Household, Booze, Things That Could Kill You, Alarm Clocks, Lego, USB, Toys and Micellany. Have a great new year!
It just isn’t a poker game without clouds of smoke enveloping the room. This poker ashtray may get the smoking action a lot closer to the game than these players would like, but that sectional sofa just works out so nicely to corral live embers and ashes.
Product Page ($20)
It doesn’t take a chemist to tell you that drinking alcohol out of a beaker that’s nearly 3-feet tall will most likely result in drunkenness. Nevertheless, you can test your mettle against the glass and emerge as a “Wimp”, “Lightweight”, “Pretender”, “Contender”, “Loaded Bloke” or, the ultimate “Loaded Legend”.
Product Page (£20 or $34)
This Chocolate Cigarette Case will provide crush protection for you cigarettes as well as hide your nasty smoking habit from those who disapprove. It also offers a sweet chocolate scent. I have no idea why I would want to sniff anything that just came out of somebody’s pocket, I guess every additional feature you can add to a product is another potential sale.
Product Page (£7.99, about $13)
If you asked people whether they would ever be interested in owning a ceramic screaming baby head that they could use as a planter, most would probably say something like: “Of course not, what the hell are you smoking?” But for those who are all about having bizarre shit in their homes, we present this currently sold out piece of botanical weirdness.
Product Page: (Sold Out)
Here are the top ten Nerd Approved Gadgets for the week of August 24th-30th, 2009:
Character Bags: Like origami for shopping bags.
Div Pro Tool: For smoking cigars and shotgunning beers on the golf course.
Ghostly Pirate Ship Shade: A scary night light.
ElectraPour: Illuminates your liquor.
Diablo The Satanic Chicken: Who would dare eat a satanic chicken?
Pray you never play golf behind a foursome making use of the Div Pro. Like other golf tools, it can fix divots, mark balls, clean the grooves on clubs and help to keep your grips in good shape—but it also has a couple unexpected features. It can hold cigars and puncture cans so you can shotgun beers.
Picture the guys in front of you laughing, smoking, drunk off their ass and hacking their way around the golf course. Will they let you play through? Of course not. You confront them, they don’t appreciate it, and the next thing you know you are teeing off on one of their faces with your driver. It happens all the time. Additional images are available after the break.
Your golfing buddies may wonder what you’ve been smoking when you step up to the first tee and use this bolt to tee your ball up. But that is just part of this Nuts About Golf set: you get 3 bolt tees, 1 nut ball marker and 3 Nuts About Golf golf balls. And if they had an inkling you were crazy when you teed off with a bolt, just wait till you put this ball marker nut down in their line.
Product Page (£9.99, about $16.50)
I want to dedicate a wing of my house to the Dramatic Chipmunk, Squirrel Underpants, Monkey Portrait, Moonlight Zombie, Happy Cupcake and Bibo oil paintings, then invite guests over and explain the artistic significance to them in a totally serious way (while smoking a pipe and wearing nothing but a cravat, underpants and knee-high socks). Additional masterpieces are pictured after the break.
This is the only way to get weed on the cheap, without getting arrested and without a smell that cops could pick up a mile away. You probably don’t want to try smoking this homegrown concoction either, so you’ll have to content yourself with the familiar looking shape. You can’t expect much more from something that grows in a matter of seconds when water is introduced.
Product Page ($2.85)
