Are you in Seattle? Zoom to Craigslist immediately. You can buy a 1/3 scale TIE fighter made from plywood for just $150. Make it your new playhouse. Display it in your front yard. Let it be a planter. At that price, you just need to get it. From the ad:
8x8x8 feet but breaks down into 5 pieces for easy transport in a pickup or can haul partially assembled (except for the top half of the wings) on a trailer. Wheeled casters make it easy to move once assembled. Laser cannons are set to fire standard party poppers. Well built out of 3/4 plywood with the wings sheeted in cardboard. Tested to hold over 300 pounds. Cockpit is 38 inches by 38 inches and my 5ft tall son comfortably sits inside.
It might just be worth a roadtrip to pick this up. You don’t quite have to go to a galaxy far, far away either. Of course, it may already be to late. On that note, a screencap of the original ad is available after the break.