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f4

Spoiler alert: Fantastic 4 is a bad movie. I know, I know. You’re shocked. Perhaps the worst thing about it is that its particular variety of suckitude trends towards the bland and boring; Jupiter Ascending may have been a hot mess, but at least it kept one’s interest with royalty-sniffy bees and whatever the hell Eddie Redmayne was doing.

Everyone in Fantastic 4 reads their lines like they’re about to fall asleep, which was quite a coincidence, because that’s exactly how I felt while watching it. I don’t know what possible reason there can be for making a young adult superhero movie (Reed Richards and Ben Grimm are just out of high school in it, and one assumes Sue and Johnny Storm are roughly the same ages) that’s absolutely devoid of fun. Someone at 20th Century Fox needs to have their Christopher Nolan Batman DVDs confiscated.

If you’ve already wasted your money on a Fantastic 4 ticket, there’s nothing I can do to help you. But if you haven’t yet, here are 10 things I recommend that are more worthy of your time:

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lego brickumentary

LEGOholics have another film to check out–if you’d rather not spend your time with a 584th viewing of The LEGO Movie, that is. A LEGO Brickumentary, a documentary (as its title would indicate) by directors Kief Davidson and Daniel Junge and narrated by minifig Jason Bateman, hit theaters and VOD (including iTunes) over the weekend. For a little amuse brick bouche, here are 15 facts you (yes, you) can learn from the film.

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mi rogue nation

A new Mission: Impossible movie came out this weekend, and you know what that means: It’s time to put aside (most) negative feelings about Tom Cruise and admit that there’s a damn good reason he’s been a movie star for so long. It may not have the snazz of the MCU, but Mission: Impossible has been one of the most reliably solid franchises of the past 20 years.

So how is Rogue Nation? The phrase “damn good” applies. Plot-wise, it has about what you’d expect from an M:I movie: Ethan Hunt and his Impossible Missions Force crew get disavowed, have to unravel a baddie’s evil plot, then get reavowed. (Er… spoiler? C’mon, you knew they had to get re-avowed, so they could get re-disavowed in the next movie.) Rebecca Ferguson stuns as a new addition to the mix, a British agent named Ilsa who spends half the movie’s running time showing Ethan Hunt up. She’s the Furiosa to his Mad Max. It’s glorious.

Really, though, it’s more of the same: Car chases, disguises, daring infiltrations of top-secret hideaways. Which is not at all a criticism, because damn, director Christopher McQuarrie pulls it off. Rogue Nation is fun. I’d rank it among the top action movies of the top five years, in fact.

But how does it compare to its fellow recent action champions? Let’s take a look…

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pixels movie featured

Given Adam Sandler’s recent track record–Grown Ups 2, Blended, The Cobbler, Jack and Jill–do I really need to tell you that Pixels is bad? Fine. It’s bad. Really, really bad.

Don’t be lured in, fellow nerds, by the Pac-Man or the Dinklage. Granted, the effects are neat, and Dinklage is by the far best actor here because he out and out commits to being a mulleted weirdo. But none of it is worth sitting through 105 minutes of Sandler testing how uninterested he can be before director Chris Columbus pulls him aside and says something about it. Lines like “I got this. If I don’t, the world ends. Can’t let that happen” (screenwriters Tim Herlily and Timothy Dowling, folks!) are bad enough, but when they’re spoken by someone who sounds like he’s halfway to a coma, it’s just insulting.

I would re-watch any of these five terrible movies before giving Pixels a second shot.

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crazy cat products

Buckle up, because we’re about to go on a journey into the deepest depths of cat obsession. After the break you’ll find 14 products and concepts for cats that range from extravagant and bizarre to just plain awesome.

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dinosaur stuff

Dinosaur mania is in full swing thanks to Jurassic World, so we’ve rounded up 11 ridiculous dino-themed items that you can buy, wear and build.

Check them out after the break…

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Warner Bros. Consumer Products Exclusively Unveils the Batmobile

Ben Affleck’s Batmobile from Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was publicly unveiled for the first time by Warner Bros. Consumer Products (WBCP) yesterday at Licensing Expo in Las Vegas.

We’ve already seen pictures and video of the updated Batmobile of course, but these new images will give you a much closer look—including a peek inside the cockpit.

Head after the break for all the images, including a synopsis for the film and a closer look at the costumes.

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Ash vs Evil Dead

Five days into filming for the new Starz show Ash Vs. Evil Dead, we got an exclusive look into the highly anticipated continuation of the cult classic franchise.

We had the honor of being among a select group of media outlets to speak to writer and creator Sam Raimi, Ash himself (Bruce Campbell), and executive producer Robert Tapert to get more insight on what fans can expect.

As you probably know, the beloved film saga turned television series picks up Ash’s story 30 years after his battles with the Deadites. He’s described as a shell of a man who has spent the last few decades “avoiding responsibility, maturity and the terrors of the Evil Dead”. That is, until evil once again threatens mankind and he is forced to face his demons – “personal and literal”.

How will the show blend comedy and horror? Why are the Deadites back? Where has his boomstick been all this time? And what’s the deal with Lucy Lawless’ character?

Check out the drool-worthy answers to these questions and more after the break.

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dc collectibles top

When I had the chance to take a look at play around with three brand new figures from DC Collectibles’ Batman: The Animated Series line, you’d best believe I jumped on it. I mean, look at these suckers. Robin, The Joker, and Man-Bat, out this month. They’re rad as hell. But there was one thing I wasn’t quite sure on…

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avengers age of ultron

Every year summer movie season gets pushed earlier and earlier. Last year it kicked off on April 4th with Captain America: The Winter Soldier; this year it roars into theatres with Furious 7 on April 3rd. Eventually studios will lap themselves, effectively leading to a year-long summer movie season, and 20th Century Fox will have an entire marketing team devoted to putting out teasers of trailers of teasers of trailers for whatever the next Wolverine X-Men movie is every 12 hours. But, thank God, we are not there yet. Instead, here’s (some of) what we have to look forward to over the next few months…

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