I have to say, Loot Crate’s “Heroes 2″ subscription box for July 2015 was my favorite crate thus far. See what’s inside after the break…
Given Adam Sandler’s recent track record–Grown Ups 2, Blended, The Cobbler, Jack and Jill–do I really need to tell you that Pixels is bad? Fine. It’s bad. Really, really bad.
Don’t be lured in, fellow nerds, by the Pac-Man or the Dinklage. Granted, the effects are neat, and Dinklage is by the far best actor here because he out and out commits to being a mulleted weirdo. But none of it is worth sitting through 105 minutes of Sandler testing how uninterested he can be before director Chris Columbus pulls him aside and says something about it. Lines like “I got this. If I don’t, the world ends. Can’t let that happen” (screenwriters Tim Herlily and Timothy Dowling, folks!) are bad enough, but when they’re spoken by someone who sounds like he’s halfway to a coma, it’s just insulting.
I would re-watch any of these five terrible movies before giving Pixels a second shot.
Minor spoilers follow.
The MCU has a problem. When it started out, it was just Iron Man, doing his thing. Then Nick Fury came onto the scene, and a cinematic universe was born. Government agencies, decade-long conspiracies, Norse gods from outer space. What started off as one hero fighting to make amends for his own violent history has turned into a sprawling behemoth. By Age of Ultron, the Avengers were trying to stop a genocidal robot from literally wiping out most human life on Earth. With Infinity War on the horizon, plus the Guardians of the Galaxy’s integration into the wider MCU, the stakes are primed to climb to ever more (pardon the pun) astronomical heights.
As more and more films are added to the MCU, the world expands. That’s normal, and it’s not bad. But when no major characters are allowed to die (saving Quicksilver, introduced approximately two hours before he was offed), and when nothing too bad is allowed to happen without the main characters swooping in and mopping it up, stuff starts to get a little… cartoony. A bit less emotionally grounded. I’m not saying pull a Warner Bros. and go all “gritty,” but I do think Marvel’s continuing insistence on “bigger is better”—as seen in the gazillion-plotline, “we have to set up five different movies” mess that was Ultron, and potentially in the absolutely massive Civil War cast list—could really hamstring Marvel in the future, in terms of quality, if not box office gross.
All that is to say: God bless Ant-Man.
I sit here at my computer, wondering what the hell I can say about Minions. My fingers itch to type something so I can get this review done with and start giving the Despicable Me prequel all the thought it really deserves–which is to say, very little–but my mind just keeps cycling through an endless array of shrug gifs.
Here’s the thing about Minions: It’s funny?
Moviegoers looking for something new have two options this weekend: Magic Mike XXL and Terminator: Genisys. As nerds, we’re more likely to opt for the robot- and time travel-filled latter film, but I’m here to tell you: Channing Tatum Shakes His Butt for Two Hours is the better option. Or at least the more memorable one. Terminator: Genisys is one big bucket of blehhhhhhh.
The sophomore installment of the Power Up Box (Premium Edition) dropped the ball in our opinion. Did it come back strong with box #3? Find out after the break…
Spoiler alert–Inside Out is a good movie:
It’s more of what the world at large has come to expect from Pixar: Animated movies that are fun, smart, and moving enough to be enjoyed by children and adults (with gorgeous visuals besides). In recent years, other studios–Walt Disney with Wreck-It Ralph, DreamWorks Animation with How to Train Your Dragon, Warner Bros. with The Lego Movie–may have edged in on Pixar’s one-time reputation as the only (non-indie) company delivering animated movies at the highest level of quality, and I say the more the merrier, but damn does this movie illustrate exactly what makes Pixar… well, Pixar.