10 Dangerous Ways To Amuse Yourself

When I was a kid, nobody wore bike helmets, you could still buy lawn darts and everyone had toy guns that looked real. Things have certainly changed in a short amount of time — parents these days are doing everything short of bubble wrapping their kids to keep them safe. That goes for adults, too. Cars have airbags now and our coffee warns us that it’s hot. So why are we selling desks for steering wheels and shock toys that look like real weapons? The following eye-opening gadgets prove that things haven’t changed as much as you might think.

Shock Toy
What harm could possibly come from a prank shock toy shaped like a Taser? Granted, this knockoff only produces 3.6 volts as opposed to the hundreds of thousands of volts produced by a real Taser, but that’s still enough to give you a jolt and scare you half to death. Plus, this version ithe realizs dirt cheap at only $3.40. Oh, and don’t forget the built-in flashlight. That’s right, put it on your nightstand so you can fumble around with it while trying to find your way to the bathroom in the dark. I can’t imagine any painful scenarios that might result from that. $3.40 — Focalprice

Big Wave Trampoline
We’ve all heard or seen horror stories about trampolines, but the potential for disaster increases when you own a version that can carry a pool of water on the jumping surface. The springs and frame are covered with foam padding, but that doesn’t offer much peace of mind. Kind of like wearing a giant foam cheese helmet while skydiving into a puddle with just enough water to drown in. $1,495 — Trampoline via Nerd Approved

Extreme Diet Coke and Mentos Geyser Kit
By now, everyone knows that Diet Coke and Mentos are a volatile combination. However, this kit is designed to maximize the effect with nozzles that can give you the “coolest, highest-shooting geysers.” Don’t forget to wear your goggles because I’m sure that Coke isn’t nearly as refreshing when it’s shot in your eyeballs at high velocity. $25 — Maker Shed via That’s Nerdalicious

Burglar Blaster
Think about how many times you have accidentally set off your burglar alarm. Now imagine if tripping that alarm filled up to 2,000 square feet of your house with pepper spray. As the name suggests, The Burglar Blaster does more than make loud sounds and alert the police. It actually attempts to incapacitate the burglar — or, if you’re not careful, you, your kids, the dog and maybe even Grandma when she comes over to visit. Family get-togethers just aren’t fun when everyone is rolling around on the ground in agony. $600 — Burglar Blaster

Laptop Steering Wheel Desk
You might think that nobody would be stupid enough to affix a laptop desk to a steering wheel and actually use it while in motion, but then again, you probably haven’t seen videos like this one. All can say is, be afraid. Be very afraid. $24.43 — Amazon

Gasoline-Powered Suit
Skip right over the bike with the training wheels and get your kid a gasoline-powered, 5 1/2-foot tall robotic exoskeleton called the Kikai Walker. Since this mechanized suit is designed specifically for children, it includes a number of safety features and it does little more than shuffle about slowly. But still — there is something profoundly unsettling about a kid terrorizing the neighborhood in a 396-pound robotic suit. This is technology that you wouldn’t want to fall into the wrong hands — like the school bully. $21,744 — Sakakibara Kikai via Nerd Approved

Underwater Pogo Stick
If there’s one thing that goes great with a substantial body of water it’s a pogo stick. But before we start bouncing off the pool walls underwater, let’s eat a huge meal and drink from a jug of grain alcohol. It will be getting dark soon too, but that just adds to the fun! $30 — ToySplash

The Torch Flashlight
Remember what I said about the dangers associated with using the shock toy as a flashlight? Well, that’s nothing compared to the WickedLasers Torch. This flashlight has a 4,100 lumens output, which is hot enough to light paper on fire and even cook eggs. You’ll see your way to the bathroom all right — and if you point up into in the sky, Batman just might show up. $99.95 — WickedLasers

Badass Lego Guns
I love Legos — always have, always will. But some might be surprised to know that with a little know-how you can make some really awes… uh, dangerous toy guns. The book Badass Lego Guns teaches you how to make five powerful brick-shooting guns out of Legos and rubber bands — everything from crossbows to fully automatic rifles. $16.82 — Amazon via Nerd Approved

Seven Person Tricycle
If you thought it was dangerous to ride a bike on a busy road, try maneuvering around a tricycle fit for seven. It’s wide, it’s slow and the person driving has to look over heads to see where they are going. They say you shouldn’t put all of your eggs in one basket, and that certainly applies to a tricycle that can single-handedly take out an entire family. $18,999.95 — Hammacher Schlemmer

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