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Kevin Smith pimping for himself with an (in)action figure that does absolutely nothing seems about right. I am sure the fact that there are no movable parts on this doll is just to frustrate those that would love to put him into compromising positions. Minus using some cutting tools it just isn’t going to happen.
Product Page ($12.95, available Jan 2010)
Ken’s youth involvement with the emo lifestyle is now available as a doll! Learn how to hate life, cry, write morbid poetry, become super sensitive, cry, take pictures of yourself in the mirror, sit in the dark and cry, pierce your lip, cover your face with poorly dyed black hair, cry, non conform, wear super tight pants and cry.
Product Page: (€ 225.00 or about $297)
Wow…just wow. Maybe he could be Barbie’s crazy stalker with an irritable bowel. You know—hiding in the bushes outside the dream house, pooping his pants. I just don’t know.
Product Page ($9)
Your car should reflect your personality and nothing would give it quite the same feel as a replica of the blow up doll that takes up an inordinate amount of your time and attention. There is no one, besides your mother, girlfriends or any woman at all, who would object to this dashboard accessory as a personal statement. Something to consider for that new teen driver.
Product Page ($9.99)
Every manager knows that his employees are lazy and would get nothing done without him breathing down their neck. He can save himself the effort by giving one of these Micro Managers to each employee. Every day he can change the placard displayed to provide the proper motivation. Work smart not hard.
Product Page ($6.95)
I can’t think of a better way to relieve some stress than to hack a few limbs off this Black Knight doll based on Monty Python’s “Holy Grail”. To give you some feedback the doll will spout off some of the famous lines from the movie, such as “Tis nothing but a scratch!”. Just annoying enough to further enrage you. All of your fellow cubemates will know just how stressed you are by how many times they hear this guy talk every day.
Product Page ($29.99)
It looks as though Barbie’s latest shopping excursion has gone horribly horribly wrong. In a scene right out of Hitchcock’s classic “The Birds,” she is being brutally attacked by our once docile feathered friends. And you know that this doll is a quality collector’s item because the product page claims that it has “real fake birds.”
Product Page ($44.99—arriving in October 2008)
