Of course, by “Satan’s mail” I mean bills.
This scythe letter opener is a stainless steel reproduction of the primary weapon of Dante as seen in the recent video game adaptation of Dante’s Inferno.
Product Page ($14)
letter opener
This tiny book can be the first item for your miniature library, or the automatic letter opener for which it was designed. If you are opening more than a couple letters a day then you know that the odds of getting a paper cut is very real. And no matter how much of a man you are, just the thought of a paper cut can make you cringe. So get this book, a couple batteries and save yourself all that hassle.
Product Page ($15)
Think lipstick is a girlie product? Then I guess you haven’t checked out this very cool letter opener. Call it effeminate, but the blade on this thing looks more masculine than most men I know. The lipstick is just a convenient cover story.
Product Page ($5.99)
I cannot think of a cooler way to open letters than to picture myself as one of the greatest warriors of all time wielding a sword. Even if I couldn’t handle the full size sword that the Spartans used, I can certainly handle this miniature model. The guts of my mail will be spilled on a daily basis.
Product Page ($41.67)
Other than the poor guy that acts as a holder for it, everyone will enjoy the Lightning Letter Opener. The product is pretty self-explanatory including the fact that turning your back on a storm is going to do nothing but get you struck while you aren’t looking. The fact that they can make this guy grimace with no facial features but a mouth is pretty impressive. That tells you just how much this hurts.
Product Page ($24.95)
