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Farting Hippo, the premier source for all of your hippo-related needs, is offering you the once in a lifetime opportunity to own this unique foot massager. It features two speed settings, a fleece covering for warmth and a remote control (pictured after the break).
From Fashionably Geek: Under the list of features, the product page for this magic massage bra only lists one word: “sexy.” However, they also claim it can do everything from increasing your bust size to promoting better sleep.
Make breast more healthy: Pangao breast enhancer effectively make breast up, dredge breast glands, eliminate blood stasis and effectively prevent women from breast diseases and flaccid, also can move fat and make a well-shaped figure. If use it often, you can have a sound sleep, immunity from disease and better internal secretion.
Um…what? All I know is that this thing rubs boobs. I doubt women would find that as exciting as guys would find massage pants, but hey—don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Product Page (Pricing Available Upon Request)
I’ve seen large mario mushroom “massagers” before, but this version is small enough to use in the bedroom when you and the wife dress up like Mario and the Princess. Looks like Mario might actually score this time.
Product Page ($12)
From Fashionably Geek: The Chinese manufacturer behind these shorts claim that it can deliver multiple massage modes, automatic temperature control with “infrared heaters” and an automatic setting that will run for 20 minutes. In other words, these “massage pants” appear to be sauna pants that pleasure you while reducing fat.
Yeah, let that sink in for a second then wrap your mind around this: there is a 500 unit minimum order. So, if you think about it, there could be giant massage pants orgies going on somewhere out there.
Product Page (bulk orders only)
Each pair of Electronic Massage Sandals features 6 pre-programed routines to help you relax from a hard day on your feet. They also make for quite a fashion statement if I do say so myself. We are not sure how much they cost, but it’s just as well. It seems like a good idea in theory, but chances are they are about as good at massaging your feet as a dwarf with fat hands.
This type of massager is all over the place, but not with the octopus head on it. Something about being massaged by an octopus just makes it that much better. Maybe not more relaxing, but definitely more fun.
Product Page ($8.95)
