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Birthday coming up? Light Bites offer a fork/candle holder combo which allows instant cake access without having to search for silverware, saving you those precious seconds between when the blowing ends and the eating begins (there’s my innuendo for the day). However, there’s still the obligatory waiting period while the candles burn and people sing and take pictures, which will no doubt result in you having to eat waxy cake with a hot, waxy utensil… Delish!
Product Page: (£8, or about $13.50)
If you’ve never noticed how depressing your surroundings are at work, prepare to get a guided tour by this remote controlled, 3 foot party blimp. It’s a great way to celebrate birthdays, retirements, promotions, or the firing of a hated co-worker. Plus it will look great lit by those harsh florescent lights, against a background of cold, white walls and those obligatory office ceiling panels with the little pin holes in them that are always stained and broken. Now that’s a party atmosphere, my friend.
Product Page: ($84.95)
From Fashionably Geek: Everywhere you go wearing this disco ball hat turns into a party.
DMV? Party.
School? Party.
Party? You had better believe that’s a party.
Product Page (Pricing Available Upon Request)
Primarily meant for bachelorette parties and the like, this well endowed young lady will flash you over and over. All you have to do is wind her up. I do think, however, that restricting it to bachelorette parties is pretty short sighted. Any time is a good time to for boobies.
Product Page NSFW site (£1.99, about $3.50)
If glowsticks and flashing mouth guards were not good enough for someone that parties as hard and as weird as you do, these Party Rats finger lights should do the trick. They would also work well for turning your night-blogging sessions into an all-out rave.
Product Page ($6)
didn’t think that anything could surpass the flamingo beer bong in terms of sheer drinking weirdness, but that was before I stumbled upon Caulkshots. Using the recharge kit, you simply combine gelatin with your favorite alcohol and pour the mixture into the caulking tube. After an 8 hour stint in the fridge you have 12 gelatin shots that can be dispensed using a standard caulk gun.
A video available after the break illustrates the process using the infinite marketing power of an attractive woman sucking on a tube of caulk. Enjoy!
The Flabongo is “the first and only beer bong constructed from a plastic flamingo.” Impressive. If you live in Florida you probably have a potential party bong on every lawn in your neighborhood.
Product Page ($24.98)
