Hooter Shooters and Johnson Juicers: Booze Straight From the Teat (Very NSFW)
It appears that the folks at Scandalous Inventions are planning to expand on their empire of boobie beer bongs to include a few new objects that will surely get college kids and managers at Spencer’s Gifts giddy with excitement. The “Johnson Juicer” (illustrated by Wolverine here) shoots measured shots out of a dual chambered dong [...]
Duster D: The Pinnacle of Rugged Manliness
You may never be able to use your penis as a weapon or maintain a 50 to 200 year erection, but Duster D can. These planters are made from scratch, stand 12” tall and also have customizable hair and beard color, clothing, and even tattoos. You can turn Duster D into a stallion with a [...]
Big Joe Anatomically Correct Action Figure: What We Have All Been Waiting For
Let’s face it, the Gi-Joes we have idolized over the years as plastic pinnacles of military manliness are actually not affiliated with either gender. Stepping up to Big Joe clears up that confusion by adding one key anatomical ingredient—the flex-action little joe.
Product Page ($20)
One Man Cry Doorstop: Mr. P Does His Worst Job Yet
We have seen Mr. P use his manhood for a lot of jobs: lamps, wine stoppers, towel holders and the like—but those jobs were fairly risk free. Not so with his gig as a doorstop. The aptly titled “One Man Cry” will keep your door open at the expense of our little friend here. The [...]
Big Boy BBQ Skewer: This Poor Bastard’s Wiener Gets Plump and Juicy When You Cook It
It looks as though the Roast My Weenie concept has gotten even more phallic with this Big Boy BBQ Skewer. Plus, you can take great pleasure in telling guests to stand back because you have a big hot weiner and you don’t want to poke anyone’s eyes out.
Product Page (£7.99 or $16)
Penis Shampoo Dispenser: Love Juices That Leave Your Hair Soft and Manageable (NSFW)
Fill up your penis-shaped shower caddy with your favorite shampoo and enjoy “8-inches of bathroom pleasure.” Pecker Pert leaves your hair silky and shiny…never sticky!
Product Page (£5.99 or $12)
Squeezing My Balls Does Not Relieve Stress (NSFW)
Most men would probably cringe at the thought of squeezing these balls for stress relief. I mean, just look at the graphic. On the other hand, if you see a woman in your office putting a death grip on one of these—get as far away from that crazy bitch as you can.
Product Page (Pricing information [...]
Phineas Phallus Clock: Step Aside Big Ben (Very NSFW)
According to the product page, Phineas Phallus is “a man of wealth and taste.” He also appears to have a very active libido—he thinks about sex every second of the day. Check out the video after the break to see what I mean.
Penis Maracas: The Soothing Sounds of the Scrotum (NSFW)
No one can resist the hot, spicy sounds of the nutsack. You will soon be a slave to the rhythm.
Product Page ($5.99)
Penis Flashlight: Pleasure Your Intruders (NSFW)
Did you just hear something? I think there is someone in the house. Let me grab my penis flashlight to check things out……….OMFG! An intruder!
*Boom Chicka Wow Wow*
Product Page ($14.95)
